A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - vi.
HERE, Sir, were I to tread in the beaten Track of Dedicators, I should mention your great Knowledge in Law, Physick and Divinity, the Mathematics, Natural and Experimental Philosophy, and, above all, the profound Science of Politics! Nor should I fail to express my Hopes that you would suffer yourself to be prevailed upon to oblige the World with the Publication of some of those excellent Treatises which your leisure Hours have produced on those Subjects.
THIS Flattery might perhaps be agreeable to some of the inferior Race of Mortals, who are apt to value themselves on the Reputation of possessing Useful Knowledge: But Beings of your Order, I am persuaded, would be far better pleased to hear themselves complimented on their great Skill in the NOBLE ART OF CALUMNY, than celebrated as Masters of every Branch of Erudition.
ALLOW me, Sir, tho' you are generally so obligingly condescending as to save others the Trouble of sounding your Praise, just to observe, That your Politeness is equal with your Wit—Your Merit equal with your Understanding —Your Love of Truth equal with your Love of Mr. Fr—n.
I have the Honour to be, with the profoundest Respect,
Most dreadful Sir,
Your most confounded and most humble Servant
JACK RETORT.