A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - iii.
The most renowned, most formidable, and
most tremendous KNIGHT, GIANT,
and GRAND CALUMNIATOR-GENERAL,
of the Province of Quilsylvania, &c. &c.
MOST DREADFUL SIR,
PERMIT me to approach your IMMENSITY with the first Attempt of a young Genius, ambitious of distinguishing himself in that most noble and most honourable of all Arts—the ART OF CALUMNY.
THE Voice of Mankind would condemn me, were I, on this Occasion, to sollicit the Patronage of any other than "You, SIR, the great CALUMNIATOR of the Province, whose dire Delight was ever in the Carnage of Characters, and who, like some GIANT in Romance, sit viewing, with horrid Pleasure, the mangled Limbs of murdered Reputations strow'd all around your Castle."
TO you, Sir, are we indebted for those Volumes of unparallel'd Obloquy and Slander, which have so largely contributed to the Happiness of this flourishing Province.—Not that you deign'd to write yourself (tho' so highly capable) but that you graciously promoted Writing in others.
SPEAKING, Sir, is your Excellence! Your Mouth alone can utter more true genuine Detraction in one Hour, than all the learned Doctors of the College (assisted by the decent Mr. D-ve and the magnanimous Mr. D—n) can discharge from their calumniating Pens in a Fortnight.
