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A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - 36

and those of their absent Friends, when attacked; for, you may depend that you will otherwise raise the Indignation of every honest Man in the Country, as no Man can say (if such Practices are not discouraged) but it may be his Turn next; and you may likewise depend that it cannot answer your Purpose of silencing your Opponents, but that, on the contrary, where your Scriblers succeed in writing one Man down, they will at least write Two up:—Remember Sancho’s Proverbs, Like begets Like, and, He that plays at Bowls must expect to meet with Rubbers: Avoid Politicks altogether; for most certainly neither God nor Nature ever intended you for a Politician! No more let loose the Bloodhounds of Pr—ry Power to hunt, run down, worry, and tear to Pieces those who dare to oppose Oppression with Firmness:— Oblige that Pack of whiffling Curs,* the Johnnys, Tommys, Billys, Sawneys, &c. with whom you are perpetually surrounded, to confine their Yelpings within their Kennel the C—n C—l:— Make them Ald—en— make them Ma—rs—you cannot make them Politicians— and, for your own Sake, make them no longer the Ecchoes of your Absurdities:—Attempt not to ridicule Men on account of their Trades and Professions, lest you be told of your own Original, and of—something still more disagreeable: —Weigh well those excellent Lines which Mr. H—s has given you from Pope,
A Wit’s a Feather, and a Chief’s a Rod,
An honest Man’s the noblest Work of God;
and do not give Occasion for the learned Commentators of succeeding Times to suppose that the Chief the Author alluded to, must have been a certain Pr—ry C—f J—ce in America.

BUT, if Habit has render’d Calumny necessary to your Existence, feed only on those private Family Peccadillos which it has been the Business of your Life to procure

* “Every Whiffler in a laced Coat, who frequents the Coffee-House, shall talk of the Constitution!”
SWITT.

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