Digital Paxton: Digital Collection, Critical Edition, and Teaching Platform

A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - 34

People may not discover by the Thread, the coarse Country Web of which thou art woven: Consider, Sinner as thou art, that the Master is respected in Proportion to the Discretion and Good-Breeding of his Servants; and this is one of the great Advantages which Noblemen have over People of inferior Rank: Dost thou not consider, thou Plague to thyself and Vexation to me! that if they perceive Thee to be a base bred Clown or blundering Fool, they will take me for some cheating Impostor or Knight of the Post: No, no, Sancho, shun and avoid those Inconveniencies; for, he who sets up for a Merry-Andrew, falls at the first Stumble into a disgraced Buffoon: Bridle thy Tongue, therefore, consider and ruminate well before the Words issue from thy Mouth.”

AND now, tremendous Sir! having thus exhorted your Squire, be pleased to accept of a little cordial Admonition for yourself: Part of which shall be another Extract from the History of Don Quixote, a Work I am vastly pleased to see quoted by your Squire, as it gives me an Opportunity (as I profess Imitation) of quoting it likewise. It is indeed a favourite Book with me, and I don’t care how often in the Course of our Disputes I may be referred to a Work of such infinite Wit and Humour. It contains besides a vast Fund of serious Instruction, and I heartily advise you to endeavour to deserve the Character which Sancho has given of that renowned Knight; “My Master (says he) has Nothing at all mischevious about him; on the contrary is as dull as a Beetle, and knows not what it is to harm Man, Woman, or Child, or to harbour the least Malice, but seeks to do good unto all Mankind: One of the Articles stipulated between us was that I might talk as much as I pleased, provided it was not Scandal against my Neighbour.”—Perhaps, Sir, you may think there will be no great Obstacle to your acquiring the Beetle Part of the Character, as Nature has already been so very assistant, and therefore conclude, that it is not worth your while to attempt it, as no Merit would result to you should you

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