Digital Paxton: Digital Collection, Critical Edition, and Teaching Platform

A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - 33

hire a Number of Bravos to assassinate him. Suppose that those Bravos should likewise be afraid to engage the Champion face to face, and should therefore take an Opportunity of coming behind his Back, when he was so busily employed as not to have it in his Power to turn upon them again, and then fire upon him from some Bushes where they lay concealed. Suppose that a Friend of the Champion’s, upon hearing the Report of their Guns, should come up to his Assistance; but not being able to discover where the Assassins were hid, should call upon them to come forth, and that he would engage them in Behalf of his Friend. Suppose that instead of accepting this Challenge, they should continue in their Lurking-Places, and from thence also discharge a Volley at the Person who had acted so bravely and honourably. Must we not then necessarily suppose them to be a Set of mean-spirited, dastardly Wretches, who ought not only to be expelled the Community, but driven from the Face of the Earth?—“And now (as Bayes says in the Rehearsal) pray, Mr. Author, what becomes of YOUR Supposes?”

HAVING now done with our Author, and as I am not the least desirous of staying longer in his Company than is necessary for his Chastisement, I shall dismiss him with this Advice of Sancho’s, viz. “Let every Man take Care how he speaks or writes of honest People, and not set down at a Venture the first Thing that comes into his Jolterhead.”—But perhaps he may look upon me as an Enemy, and not regard the Council, nor wholesome Correction, I have bestow’d upon him. Let me therefore recommend to his worthy Patron, if he has any Regard for his own Credit, to take his “blundering Squire” aside, and lecture him as the renowned Don Quixote did his Squire on a similar Occasion. “Tell me, said the Knight, thou modern Buffoon, and ancient Blockhead! Was it thy Province to dishonour and affront a Person so worthy of Reverence and Respect. For the Love of God, Sancho, set a Guard upon thy Tongue, and behave so as that the

Contents of this annotation: