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A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - 32

not see any Reason why learned Doctors and Professors in a College should be compell’d to the Observance of Grammar Rules: It is sufficient that they endeavour to teach them to others. Persons who are really “capable of writing an Advertisement” would merit our Censure, perhaps, were they not to write grammatically; but as our learned Doctors and Professors cannot, with any Propriety, be included among those, they are therefore very excuseable.

AS I profess myself to be a mere Imitator, I ought, according to the Example of our Author, in the Paragraph before me, give you a long String of Suppositions founded upon false Representations. But as I have not exhausted a Hundredth Part of the Stock of Truths I am possessed of against him and his Employers, I think I may be excused having Recourse to Falsities till the said Stock is nearly expended. The following Suppositions therefore, must be considered as having Truth for their Basis, and consequently so far deviating from those of our Author. Suppose then, that some “dreadful Giant or Knight” should, partly from the Malice and Envy of his Heart, and partly to oblige his Superior the great HABERDASHER of Grace-Church-Street, determine to destroy the Champion who guarded the Golden Fruit, called Rights and Privileges, belonging to the People of Quilsylvania, which the said Haberdasher wanted to get into his Possession. Suppose that the said Giant should for this Purpose take to his Assistance eight or nine of the most wicked and obedient of his Vassals and Attendants, and attack the Champion openly in the Highway, hoping that by their united Strength they should totally overpower him. Suppose, however, that the Champion should prove too hard for them all, and not only “heartily belabour the Knight’s Ribs,” but also give his Vassals and Attendants a “sound Drubbing.” Suppose then, that as they were afraid to venture to attack the Champion again, and yet were determined on his Destruction, that the Haberdasher might be gratified in his Desires, they should

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