Digital Paxton: Digital Collection, Critical Edition, and Teaching Platform

A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - 30

introduce the Puns they had previously prepared in their Closets. And thus has our Author managed: Having furnished himself with a Quantity of Stuff which he took to be good sound Wit, and being determined to squirt it all at Mr. H—s’s Advertisement, he examines that carefully over in order to find some Spot proper for its Reception, but not being able to discover any, he falls immediately to work to make one; just as some Curs strive hard to scratch a Hole in which they may discharge their Excrement.

SO much, by Way of Simile, in Complaisance to our Author, who seems very fond of the Business of Simile-making; and ‘tis no Wonder that he should; for he has a most surprizing Skill in adapting them to his Subject. For Instance: After supposing Mr. H—s ”to call out aloud to a mask’d Ruffian (whom he had observed to come behind his Friend and give him a sound Drubbing) that if the Villain would but show his Face, or tell his Name, he would grind him to Powder,” he tells us, that “just so the renowned Don Quixote, meeting a few Merchants, cried out, Let the whole World stand still, and if the whole World will not confess, affirm, and swear, that the Empress Dulcinea (who by the Bye was only a common Trollop) is the most beautiful Damsel in the World, I challenge you all to Battle.” Now as it may possibly happen, that some of my Readers may be as stupid as I was upon the first Reading of this Passage, and not comprehend the least Resemblance between Don Quixote’s meeting a few Merchants Face to Face, and Mr. H—s’s observing a mask’d Ruffianto come behind his Friend, &c. I shall endeavour to give them such Lights into this Matter as I have, by Dint of hard Study, or otherwise, been able to procure. I suppose then the “few Merchants” are intended to allude to those of that Profession among the Protesters, who, it must be acknowledged, did at first show their Faces, and tell their Names; but, as they afterwards put on their Visors, and acted a base, assassinating Part,

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