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A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - 24

Part,” and to have sent the Piece when published, to all his Acquaintance abroad, recommending it as a very fine Performance, containing a just Account of Mr. F—n’s Conduct; it was but reasonable to imagine, that he would be either weak or wicked enough to own himself the Author, or at least undertake to justify the Contents. This too was the rather to be expected, as he had given us a recent Instance of his assuming to himself even what he had no hand in; namely, the Putting off the Stamp-Duty; as plainly appears by a Letter from Mr. Huske,Member of Parliament, which was signed with his Name, and published in all the News-Papers on the Continent except those of Quilsylvania; and why it was not publish’d there needs not to be explained. So far it seems was he from contributing thereto, that it was the “blundering Simplicity” of our Quilsylvanian “Squire,” which made the Ministry more determined in that Matter than they otherwise would have been. Such a Man as this had needs be, as our Author says, “not so destitute of Friends as to be under a Necessity of advocating his own Cause:” For where a Cause requires such a deal of advocating, it would be a cruel Necessity indeed if one so little capable was obliged to perform the Whole. The Herculean Labour of cleansing the Augean Stable was not an Undertaking of half such Difficulty.

WHEN these same Friends, or rather Creatures, will accomplish their Work ’tis hard to say; for tho’ they have been a long while industriously employed in whitewashing their Cause; yet they think it still so very dirty, that they are asham’d to be known to have had any hand in the Business.— It is, hovever, a little surprising that notwithstanding they labour so hard for their Employer, he should keep them so scanty both of Victuals and Money as to oblige them to give him such shrewd Hints of their wanting to have a little “Eating in the Case” even tho’ it were but a few “Pies and Cakes.” But lest he might suspect they only wanted Money to lay out on Betty Nic-be-ravished, a

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