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A Humble Attempt at Scurrility - 21

IS it on Account of Family?If that be the Case, I must tell them, that Mr. H—s’s Grandfather brought Money with him into this Country; Part of which he laid out in Land that Mr. H—s now possesses. Mr. A—n will therefore excuse my drawing the Parallel between them in this Instance.

IS it on Account of Fortune?— Mr. A—n is to be sure, by a lucky Concurrence of Circumstances, by Pr—ry Favour in Land Purchases, by illicit Trade, and by — what may be mentioned another Time, possessed of a large Estate.—As to Mr. H—s, his Father left him a handsome Fortune, to which he has made a considerable Addition by his honest Industry and good Management. It is true that his Estate is not so great as Mr. A—n’s, but it is nevertheless such as puts him upon a Footing with any Man in the Province.

IS it on Account of Rank?— Mr. A—n is a Member of Assembly brought in by Pr—ry Interest for an inconsiderable distant County.— Mr. H—s is likewise a Member of Assembly; but brought in, for a Number of Years

ANNOTATION, by Scriblerus, personating D. J. D-ve.

Some of our wiser and better Sort of People, since they have ac|quired Offices and Property, are very apt to talk of Family; tho’ the GRAND-DAM of HONOUR to some of our Honourables sold Pins in a Shed on London-Bridge, and their DAM of HONOUR was Daughter to the Apothecary in Romeo and Juliet: And tho’ the GRAND-DAM of HONOUR to another of our Honourables, was a Fish-Woman at Billingsgate, (from whence the Love of Fish, Oysters, Clams and Bawdry, have descended to her Posterity) and his DAM of HONOUR was a Wapping Landlady, who afterwards rose to be a Huckstering Salt-seller in Quilsylvania, where many now alive remember to have seen her sitting on a Bushel, in the open Street, selling Salt.—But it must, however, be acknowledged, that being ambitious of mending the Breed, he chose for a DAM to his BRATS, Marget the Daughter of a Convict Servant.
“This you get Booby Squirt,
Because you would chatter:
Since you're for flinging Dirt,
We’ll try who best can spatter-Booby Squirt!
— Beg. Opera, alter’d.

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